Your athlete's biggest enemy isn't their opponent. It isn't some kid they've got beef with. It's what they say to themselves — and here's the research to back that up.
When an athlete speaks negatively to themselves, they set themselves up for failure before they even start. That's worse than any opponent telling them they're trash. One of the ground rules in my training is no negative self-talk. The joke I have for my athletes is that if I hear them talking down about what they can or can't do, I'll tell their parents they were using profanity during training. This is one of my standards because how you think and talk to yourself is critical to your performance and your outlook on your own ability. What you take in matters — your brain is always paying attention to what you see, hear, and say to yourself.
Researchers at Wuhan Sports University and Central China Normal University published an updated review of 33 trials with nearly 1,850 participants, and the finding held up: what athletes said to themselves mattered most. Self-talk — whether it's spoken out loud or silent, in your head — is a free, easy tool coaches and athletes at every level can use to help elevate performance.
One thing worth noting about the study: the review found that the content of the self-talk mattered — some phrasing worked better than others — but it didn't land on one universal "best" script. Researchers also flagged a likely "small-study effect," meaning smaller trials with bigger, flashier results may be overrepresented in the data, which can inflate how strong the overall effect looks. Translation: the tool works. Nobody's handed you the exact words yet.
Here's how I train athletes to flip negative statements into positive ones
Pick any of these up and use them today — the point isn't finding the "perfect" phrase, it's replacing the automatic negative one with something true and useful instead.
Negative: I can't do that exercise, it's too hard. Positive: I can't do that exercise yet. (Consistency improves anything — this isn't a fluffy statement with no proof behind it.)
Negative: I'm terrible at this. Positive: This is hard for me right now, and I'm going to keep working until I get better.
Negative: Everybody thinks I look bad when I do this exercise. Positive: Everybody struggles with something, and this is my thing. I'll keep working until I get better at it.
How we help, as coaches and parents
Monitor your athlete's language. When you hear negative self-talk, help them flip the statement into a positive one.
Acknowledge positive self-talk when you hear it, and encourage more of it.
Most important: monitor your own self-talk. Kids mirror what they see and hear, so we have to be the change we want to see in our athletes.
Positive self-talk is a free tool you can start using today. The research doesn't tell us the exact words that work best for every athlete — but it does show the habit itself makes a real, measurable difference in performance. That's reason enough to start today.
Lorraine Eloms | Top Speed Athletics & Mental Performance and Life Coaching — helping young athletes develop the mental and emotional tools to compete, grow, and thrive.
