Signs Your Athlete Is Struggling With Confidence — And What To Do About It
You're watching your athlete compete, and something feels off. The body language is off. They're second-guessing decisions they usually make without thinking. The mistakes are uncharacteristic. The spark that shows up in practice? Nowhere to be found.
Sound familiar? What you're watching is a confidence crisis — and if you don't know what to look for, it's easy to mistake it for laziness, lack of effort, or not caring. It's none of those things.
Here's what it actually looks like:
Negative body language — slumped shoulders, head down, disengaging from the play
Second-guessing decisions mid-competition that they make automatically in practice
A visible decline in performance that doesn't match their training
Uncharacteristic mistakes happening repeatedly — not occasionally
If any of those sound like your athlete, keep reading.
The Disconnect Between Practice and Competition
I worked with a track athlete who was an absolute force in practice — fast, focused, confident. But the moment she stepped onto the track at a meet, she became a completely different athlete. Hesitant. Tight. Disconnected from everything we had built together.
The results weren't matching the work — and that gap told me everything I needed to know. It wasn't a physical problem. It was the environment. She was completely comfortable with me in practice but the sights, sounds, and energy of competition were overwhelming her in ways she couldn't even articulate.
So I stopped coaching her performance and started asking her questions.
"What do you usually focus on right before your race?""What emotions do you feel right before competition?""Is there something during competition that makes you unsure — your race plan, remembering your technique, knowing when to make your move?"
Those three questions pointed us directly to the root. And once we found the root, we could actually fix something. We discovered that she became nervous when she saw her competition and that was all she could think about instead of her race plan. We started doing focus techniques and race study — the same way she would study for an exam — and that improved her performance tremendously.
Once she stopped watching her competition and started running her own race — everything changed.
What Doesn't Help
Here's what I need you to stop saying — with love:
"Just be confident.""You need to do better.""I know you can do this."
None of that helps. In fact it adds pressure to an athlete who is already drowning in it. If your athlete is repeating the same mistakes, they likely don't know how to do what you're asking. Telling someone to be confident without giving them the tools to get there is like telling someone to calm down in the middle of a panic attack. The intention is good. The impact is the opposite.
What Actually Helps
Get curious before you get directive. Ask the questions. Dig for the root. The answers your athlete gives you will tell you more in five minutes than weeks of observation ever could.
Confidence isn't a switch your athlete can flip on command. It's an environment you help create — one conversation, one competition, one moment of feeling seen at a time.
Start there. If your athlete is struggling, ask them those three questions this week.
Lorraine Eloms | Top Speed Athletics & Mental Performance and Life Coaching, helping young athletes develop the mental and emotional tools to compete, grow, and thrive.
